Doctors visit
We went to the doctor today.  Time to get the toenails cut.  Yes, that requires a doctor.  I didn't know if mom would be able to make it.  She has been very tired lately; she hasn't gone out much.  She did well this morning.  Mom had the choice of taking her walker or her caregiver because I can't keep her and dad upright and out of trouble at the same time.  She chose Lola.  With the extra help, we had a fine visit. 

You never know how oriented to time and place mom is.  She knew last Sunday was Father's Day.  Yet, sometimes she doesn't recognize fully that dad is her husband.  She complains at night sometimes of having to sleep with someone.  Why does she need such a large bed? she asks.  When my sister answered the question on Sunday night that dad would be sleeping there too, she stated, "Well, I'm not taking off my robe then."  Who knows what's going on in her mind.

She was happy today, that makes everything all right. 

Mom's little boy
Mom is getting worse quickly.  She slips in and out of time/place recognition.  She asked me the other day where her little boy was; he should be around here someplace.  I'm her little boy.  Yet, now I'm more like her father.

Alzheimer's turns the table on relationships.  The nurturer gets nurtured.  The parent gets parented.  The child takes charge.  The thing that doesn't change is the love that is exchanged.  Indeed, that aspect of the relationship is actually enhanced.  This is a cherished time, a time for service without conditions, a time to give to the one person who gave so much to me. 

This terrible disease changes everything.  It changes relationships and responsibilities and time commitments.  it will also change the heart.  Whether that heart change is bitter or blessed is up to each individual.